The Brainwashing that is Parental Alienation: How can this happen?

This is a question that all of us as alienated family members wonder on a daily basis. This also applies to grandchildren as well as we know. We have never had a call that focused strictly on this question and topic and it should be an excellent call. Please make plans to join us.   6 March at 20:00 in EST
On Sunday, March 6th at 8 PM EST, Dr. J. Michael Bone will be our guest speaker. J Michael Bone, PhD is a clinical, consulting and forensic Psychologist with a speciality and attorneys.devoted to Parental Alienation for the last thirty years. He is a former member of the Scientific and Professional Advisory Board of the Parental Alienation Research Foundation in Washington DC. He worked directly with Richard Gardner, MD in numerous cases, and has performed evaluations and expert testimony in Family Court through out the United States, as well as training for mental health professionals and attorneys. In 2006, he modified his practice to be exclusively devoted to the problem of Parental Alienation in a consultative capacity. He has lectured on the subject internationally, and is published in peer reviewed journals, and has served as Special Topics Editor of the American Journal of Family Therapy. Dr. Bone is located in Winter Park, Florida, but works in cases all over the country.

We are fortunate to have monthly these international support conference calls monthly complimentary of these top experts in their field. We are now able to allow other countries besides the US , excluding Canada, to call in on a local numberer their country. Canada may call in on the US number. We also Skype these calls.

All callers are allowed one question for Dr. Bone if you wish and the questions must be submitted no later than Tuesday, March 1st. New callers must be registered no later than Saturday, March 5th. Regular callers have until 6 PM EST on Sunday, March 6th to register. THESE ARE FIRM DEADLINES!!

The only way to register for this call and to send in your question for Dr. Bone is to email familyaccessinnc@aol.com.

Please make this call a priority. There will be no replays for this call. Please share this post. Thank you.  

 

Enforcing Visitation When Denied Court-Ordered Parenting Time

visitation

Although strides have been made toward making equal custody the default standard, it has yet to catch on in the majority of states. Until then, many perfectly fit and loving fathers are going to be regulated to default visitation schedules that typically fall into the ballpark of every other weekend plus one evening per week.

It is already problematic enough to maintain a strong relationship with your children when you are limited to such a relatively small amount of visitation, and this becomes even more complicated when you have a… difficult… ex who doesn’t seem to think your days are important.

When your ex denies you visitation on your court-ordered schedule, it can be an incredibly frustrating experience — particularly if it becomes a pattern. You may be left feeling hopeless and wonder exactly what you can do.

Many non-custodial parents simply give up at this point; however, that is not the solution.

You need to continue to fight for whatever rights the court granted to you through all legal channels that are available. You also need to avoid making common mistakes that could wind you up in trouble.

Document any missed visitation

Maintain a calendar of any time you were denied visitation, no matter the reason. Also keep copies of any correspondence with your ex, which means keeping things civil on your end. Any texts, emails or letters should be kept professional and on topic.

This will help you build a case if you end up in court seeking enforcement of your order, and helps prove that you made every attempt to exercise your visitation rights.

Solve the issue as adults

Ideally, if you and your spouse are committed to your children and effective co-parenting, you will be able to resolve any minor issues before they escalate. Before going to higher authorities, attempt to remedy the issue at the lowest possible rung — between you and your ex.

When there is occasional confusion or conflicting schedules, try to set up additional days to make up for any lost time. This is the most effective method for cutting down on future tension, even though it may be extremely frustrating at the time.

Co-parenting does take flexibility, and if there hasn’t been a history of problems or there is a potential legitimate excuse, at least try to work things out amicably before jumping to the next level.

Have your attorney send a strongly-worded letter

If your ex will not cooperate in making up missed visitation, having your family law attorney send an official letter is often enough to get them to knock off the impetuous behavior.

Make it clear that you are willing to resolve the issue outside of the courtroom and avoid that extra headache, but any denial of the court-ordered visitation must cease immediately and any missed days must be made up.

This shows that you aren’t going to be bullied and have your rights pushed aside, and also proves  that a good-faith attempt was made to resolve the issue without court interference if you eventually have to pursue enforcement.

Police may be able to help

Parenting time orders issued by the court are technically enforceable by local police; however, many departments are hesitant to get involved with civil issues unless there is a potential of criminal action.

If they are willing to help, it will likely come in form of either calling the opposing party and urging them to comply with the court order, or by escorting you to pick your children up from the prescribed location.

Note that in all likelihood, the police will tell you to take the issue up with the court.

Utilize the courts

If you are unable to resolve the issue of your ex denying your parenting time through any other means, you can raise the issue before a judge. This process is a little more extensive, though if you are in the right and your ex is in the wrong, it can be a very effective method for permanently fixing the problem.

Through filing a Motion to Enforce, you are able to ask the court to intervene and require your ex to comply with the order. It is also possible to have the court issue make-up days for any time missed, as well as order the cost of court and attorney fees to your ex if they are found to be guilty of willfully disobeying the visitation schedule.

This is why documentation is crucial to build your case. If you are able to show when the order was ignored, any excuses given by your ex and your repeated attempts to resolve the problem before presenting it to court, you will have a good chance to successfully convince the judge to take action.

It is important to contact an experienced family law attorney before moving forward with this step. They will be able to advise the best course of action, and could possibly recommend contempt charges or a modification of custody if there is a pattern of non-compliance or severe breach of the order.

Every attempt should be made to keep things between you and your ex as cordial as possible for the sake of the kids, so only resort to the courts after you have exhausted every other available option.

Do NOT stop paying child support

Many men feel that if they are being denied the right to their scheduled visitation, then they shouldn’t have to pay their court-ordered child support. Unfortunately, windmills do not work that way.

Just because your rights are being infringed when your ex ignores a court order does not give you the right to return the favor. You must continue to follow the child support obligation while you attempt to resolve the issues with visitation, and failure to do so can result in serious consequences.

Arrearages can build up, your accusations of contempt against your ex can be thrown right back at you and there is even a possibility of fines or jail time for willful non-payment. It may not be fair, but you must take the high road to succeed in convincing the courts that you are in the right.

Judges have very little tolerance for refusing to pay child support, and without an order stating the obligation has changed, you must follow what is written in your decree.

Do NOT take matters into your own hands

Simply taking the children for any period of time beyond what is prescribed by your court order can have even more serious ramifications. Despite the fact that you may feel you are “owed” extra time due to your spouse’s refusal to let you exercise your visitation, it can be considered parental kidnapping.

You risk arrest and your spouse can make a very strong case to have your visitation modified to require supervision or your amount of time reduced if they decide to call the police and file a motion with the courts.

While many of these options clearly do not offer instantaneous results, it is always in your best interests to work within the bounds of the law.

If you are not able to resolve visitation disputes amicably, it may be necessary to contact a skilled family law attorney to help you determine the best course of action so that you are always able to see your children in the limited time allotted by the court.

 

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She files a domestic violence charge takes the baby and moves out

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Can up

She files a domestic violence charge takes the baby and moves out

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Long story short…. My son’s girlfriend of a year, stopped taking her pill and got pregnant on purpose. My son took two jobs, found a house and they moved in together March of 2012. My grandchild was born that fall. Fast forward six months.

It’s May and my son had proposed. They took engagement photos and set a wedding date for October.

By June, she starts acting funny, hanging out with another guy and giving my son a hard time about everything. Meanwhile my son and us (baby’s grandparents) were practically raising my grandchild while her mother is out running around.

Mid-June she files a domestic violence charge (which is found unsubstantiated) takes the baby and moves out. We hire my son a lawyer and start the paperwork to establish parental rights and fatherhood. First lawyer does nothing and sends my son a bill for $3000.00. We hire a new lawyer and pay him a $2,500 retainer. By November she is moved in with the new guy, taking new engagement photos and fighting my son’s rights to see his child every way she can. She expects my son to drop his child off with a guy whom she cheated on him with and with a guy who threatened my son telling him he would never see his daughter again.
151106 ICMI16 FINAL
Instead of letting my son or us have his child while she is working or out running around she went behind my son’s back and found a daycare to stick the baby in while she does what she wants. My son has no say in this. For now. Meanwhile my grandchild is brought to us on his weekends and has constant severe diaper rashes, is frequently sick and cries and clings to her daddy when it’s time to send her back.

My son had his first court interview with the visitation mediator and for the first time since this whole ordeal started, someone actually listened to him and let him tell his side of the story. From start to finish. He is only asking for shared parenting (because that is what he was advised to start with) but he could wind up with way more.

My son never asked for any of this but manned up and embraced the fatherhood that was thrown at him so suddenly. He will fight to the ends of the earth for his daughter. Please keep him in your prayers as he continues this fight.

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REASON TO WITHDRAW FROM THE CONVENTION ON THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD!

world justiceWelsh-Flag

Wales UNCRC Monitoring Group, a civil society of NGO’s, is forcing the Convention on the Rights of the Child into UK domestic family law across the United Kingdom; England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales, and the British Overseas Territories and the Crown Dependencies between May 17- June 3, 2016.
It means that NGO’s will gain even more power and control over your child.

Wales UNCRC Group shows NGO’s shifty intent by asking the CRC Committee,
“Will Welsh Government seek to persuade the UK Government as State Party to:
1. incorporate the Convention in UK law
2. ratify the 3rd Optional Protocol?”
(OP3 tells children to complain directly to the Committee and NGO’s bypassing parents and local government)

Recommendations of the Committee of CRC in Geneva to change domestic law are never proposed or presented for debate to UK Parliament and Royal Assent. The recommendations become instant law and the Minister for Foreign and Commonwealth Office signs the protocols.
NGO’s have taken over judicial systems all over the world, Parliaments are obsolete, NGO’s are creating and implementing law not the elected MP. Judges have become NGO,s puppets.

The Wales UNCRC Group concern is not the child but $$$$.
The NGO “Funky Dragon” wrote,
“The major concern about cooperation with civil society relates to the withdrawal of Welsh Government funding, and in consequence the interruption in functioning, of the Children and Young People’s Assembly for Wales.”

CRC article 3 (the infamous Best Interest of the Child) and article 12 are already enforced worldwide. Article 12, the Right to be Heard is a manipulation to force a child to choose in court between mother or father. In policy making, article 12 is a manipulation to force governments to adopt laws created by civil society’s NGO’s and presented as the voices of children.

Stand up to withdraw from the Convention on the Rights of the Child!

walk-4-justiceuk kids

Treatment of Depression and Anxiety from High Conflict Divorce and Child Custody Battles Using Antidepressants and Benzodiazepines Is Risky

Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences most people endure, right up there with a death in the family, job loss and extended unemployment, or a medical catastrophe such as cancer. When you add to the mix a child custody battle with a Personality Disordered Abuser as your adversary, you will likely experience years of false allegations, be kicked out of your home, see your kids and family suffer the abuse of parental alienation, experience frequent misconduct by the courts, see your reputation ruined by defamation, suffer job loss and chronic underemployment or unemployment, and many other damages. During such a hellish experience, it is only natural to be depressed, anxious, and suffer chronic sleep problems. The continual stress results in what may initially appear as psychological problems but which inevitably result in physiological damage to one’s health. MORE

Many suffering from this nightmare will seek medical help from their general practitioner or psychiatrist. At some level they know the stress-related symptoms they are experiencing are not “all in their heads” as some may claim. Sometimes medical practitioners do help, other times they begin another series of upsets to their patient’s health. That’s because the mainstream therapies used by many doctors often include too quickly prescribing common antidepressants and anxiolytic medications that have a plethora of adverse effects on health. Fortunately, there are alternatives that can often help without the need for these medications or can help to reduce the prescription medication dosages required and thereby help avert some of the worst of the side effects.

Psychotherapy Is Not A Cure

When you visit your doctor or psychiatrist and explain how you can’t sleep and are depressed and anxious from the horrors of the family law system, first of all you should realize that most of these medical practitioners don’t really understand you or your situation. Unless one has been through the nightmare of the family law courts or has seen the destruction they inflict upon a close family member or friend, it’s hard to have any real understanding of this miserable reality.

Some medical providers may brush off your request for medication, pointing out that your stress is temporary and will go away in a few months and advise you to see a psychologist or therapist. While good psychologists and therapists can certainly provide some help, what they can do is often not enough as the manifestations of the family law crisis often include physiological illness brought on by chronic stress.

Many psychotherapists simply aren’t much use in such difficult situations. First of all, for a chance of good results you must find one who has some experience with the family law system and forms of child abuse including parental alienation. If you pick a therapist who has never set foot in a family court room and seen how dysfunctional the system is, you are far less likely to get competent treatment or helpful advice.

Many psychotherapists have zero experience in family law battles. They may be experts at substance abuse, marital arguments, or helping people suffering job loss but know nothing about extreme divorce and child custody battles. Even those who do have some experience often lack a full appreciation of how abusive, arbitrary, and destructive the family law courts are to their victims and how it frequently takes nothing but an unproven false allegation to put a good parent who has broken no laws and abused nobody into a no-contact or expensive supervised visitation situation that is itself a form of emotional abuse.

Naive therapists may be operating under the mistaken impression that you can’t be kicked out of your home and have all your property and assets taken from you without a chance to present your side of the story or at least some evidence of wrongdoing. But in today’s family law courts, it is not unusual for that to happen. One lie is all it takes to ruin months or years of the lives of the falsely accused parent and his or her children. A second lie is often all it takes to amplify the damage tenfold. The general public fails to understand this, and so do most therapists.

A really excellent therapist for you should also be expertly familiar with personality disorders and sociopathic abuse patterns. Some therapists run away from personality disorder cases as fast as they can. They know how dangerous these people can be to them personally. Others are totally ignorant of how destructive personality disorders can be to the misfortunate ones who married and/or had children with a person suffering one of the DSM-IV Axis II Cluster B personality disorders including Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic, and Antisocial personality disorders. Ideally, you want a therapist who knows a lot about personality disorders and is brave enough to help you face off with one of these people. “Brave” applies here because it is common for the Personality Disordered Abuser to seek to defame and even file complaints seeking to revoke the license of a therapist who dares to challenge their abusive behaviors or help their victims.

Unfortunately, finding a suitable therapist is often very difficult to do. For many people, joining a high conflict divorce or parental alienation support group or web discussion forum and asking for referrals from the people there may be one of the few realistic means they have to find a therapist who might be of some help.

If you are fortunate enough to find a good therapist familiar with family court abuse, you are likely to get some useful support and advice that may help you weather the long storm. But even when you have found a good therapist and are starting to build some rapport, the odds are strong that by then you will be suffering physiological symptoms of extreme stress that even an excellent therapist cannot resolve. Lots of talk therapy isn’t enough on its own to turn around severe depression, anxiety, or sleep disorders. Realizing this, you’ll probably go back to your doctor again looking for medical help.

Psychiatric Medicines Are Not Panaceas or Candy

After hearing that you’ve got a psychotherapist and are still suffering, even conservative doctors are going to whip out the prescription pad if they haven’t already. They are likely to quickly prescribe an antidepressant, an anxiolytic, and possibly a sleep medication from their list of favorites. Every doctor has favorite meds, ones they have used for years or new ones they want to try because they got a box full of samples or a fancy $100 surf ‘n turf dinner, golf outing, or a week long tropical vacation in the dead of winter from a big pharma rep pushing a lucrative new pill. So what you will be prescribed may often have little or nothing to do with what will actually work.

Few mainstream medical practitioners understand that to provide the best treatment for stress-related symptoms, they need to be running some tests to look for biochemical markers of what is going wrong inside the body. In this era of managed healthcare and big pharma controlling the approval of medicines and education of doctors, it is common to simply start trying medicines on stressed out patients as if they are flavors of candy. Unfortunately, that’s often neither safe nor effective medical practice unless the goal is profits for big pharma or holding down short-term costs for insurance companies and HMOs hoping that you’ll lose your insurance coverage so they are off the financial hook.

Many of the commonly used psychiatric medicines are potentially far more dangerous that eating a large bag of candy may be to a diabetic. And they are about as likely to “cure” depression or anxiety as that same bag full of candy would be to help a patient lose ten pounds of weight in a week.

Below are some observations about commonly used psychiatric medications that you’re likely to be prescribed if you visit your doctor for family law related health problems.

Anxiolytics

Anxiolytics are medications that are intended to oppose anxiety. Most of the common ones act upon the GABA receptors in the brain. GABA is a neurotransmitter with a purpose of calming down the brain. Many of these medications work pretty well at first, until you get used to using them. Then they often require higher and higher dosages as a physiological dependency (basically an addiction) develops. As the dependency grows, you may see your anxiety go from having trouble sleeping to having panic attacks between doses.

The most widely used class of anxiolytics is benzodiazepines including Xanax (alprazolam), Valium (diazepam), Restoril (temazepam), Klonopin (clonazepam), and many others. Most of these drugs are approved for short term use, but frequently patients are told to keep taking them for months or years and this is where much of the problem with these medications originates.

These meds are usually not bad choices for most people if they are used for only a few days or up to a week or two or a month at the outside. Another reasonable usage pattern is infrequent use (ideally much less than once per week) during high stress situations such as panic attacks. Using them much beyond these limited scopes and the risks go up dramatically. This is why a well-informed doctor will be very careful about writing prescriptions for these medications for limited quantities as they should be keeping a tight watch on your usage of such drugs. But many doctors fail to do this, often due to ignorance but sometimes due to cost containment pressures trying to limit “unnecessary” appointments at which they expect you’ll just be asking for a refill.

When you find one of these medications does help you calm down as you probably will at first, the doctor is tempted to keep you on it. And the longer you are on it, the more you will depend upon it. Because the doctors writing the prescriptions for these meds are virtually never the same ones who are helping hundreds of thousands of addicted people get off of them, they often fail to appreciate the risks these medications present. When a patient is severely addicted to these meds, it is not unusual for the patient to go “doctor shopping” to find yet another doctor to write another prescription as even many of those who originally wrote the first several prescriptions will at some point question why you are needing several times the amount of medication.

Even if you don’t end up addicted to these medications, they are still likely to hurt you. Common side effects from this class of medications resemble those of alcohol as many of them function as depressants of the central nervous system and cause cognitive impairments, short-term memory problems, slurred speech, clumsiness, slow reflexes, drowsiness, and other sorts of troubles you’d expect to see after a few alcoholic drinks. Worsened depression and liver and kidney damage are among the more moderately severe side effects. In extreme cases, these drugs can kill you via triggering respiratory arrest (cessation of breathing) particularly when combined with painkillers that are also often prescribed to people with severe stress related pain symptoms.

Benzodiazepines also generally mess around with your sleep architecture by reducing the amount of deep sleep and/or REM sleep, leaving you with more light sleep that is not as restorative. So while they may help you fall asleep when you are anxious, the sleep you will get will probably not be as restful as what you need. The more you use them to fall asleep, the worse your insomnia is likely to become without them. Long-term use also tends to worsen depression. These are three more good reasons why benzodiazepines should not be used on a daily basis even if you do manage to avoid addiction.

To give you an idea how destructive benzodiazepines can be, Australia banned temazepam in 2004 due to widespread abuse, prescription forgery, and theft from pharmacies. Sweden has reportedly banned the drug due to similar experience. In the United Kingdom, BBC TV broadcast a documentary titled “Temazepam Wars” involving drug related abuse and crime in Paisley, Scotland. In the US and Canada, the problems have not been as severe but clearly there is potential for disaster for anybody using these kinds of medications for long.

Why Should Simon Be Prosecuted For A Government Failure?

Newcastle dad pleads not guilty to aggravated trespass after 11-day Tyne Bridge protest ~ Simon Anderton entered the plea when he appeared in the dock at Newcastle Magistrates’ Court on Wednesday.

Davey Says; How can he be guilty when it is The Government’s own failure or more over the Ministry of Justice who Trespass into the fathers domain and extract him from his families lives! 

Fathers for Justice protestor Simon Anderton, on the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle

Tyne Bridge protester Simon Anderton

A dad who staged an 11-day protest on top of the Tyne Bridge has denied he did anything illegal.

Real Fathers for Justice campaigner Simon Anderton scaled the iconic Newcastle landscape on Father’s Day on June 21 this year. He then hung-up a 25ft purple banner reading “happy fatherless day” as he claimed he was fighting for the plight of dads deprived by family courts from having a loving relationship with their sons.

The grandfather and dad-of-five spent 11 days on the bridge before climbing down on July 2.

He later handed himself in to the police and posted a spoof review of his stay in the “penthouse suite” on Trip Advisor

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As we previously reported, Anderton was later charged by Northumbria Police, under the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act, with aggravated trespass.

At a hearing at Newcastle Magistrates’ Court on Wednesday, the 56-year-old, of Meldon Terrace, Heaton, denied the offence.

When the charge was put to him, he replied: “Obviously, not guilty”. 

Anderton was initially facing a charge which alleged he “intended to have the effect of intimidating those persons or any of them so as to deter them or any of them from engaging in that activity”.

But, that was changed during the hearing to one that read he allegedly “intended to have the effect of disrupting a person’s activities”.

David Parish, mitigating, said it had been a lawful protest.

He said: “It’s a not guilty plea because he had no intention to cause disruption – he denies intending to cause disruption.

“We also have a query as to whether the Tyne Bridge falls under the act.”

Rebecca Laverick, prosecuting, made no representations.

The court heard four witnesses and Anderton will give evidence at his trial.

He will next appear for that trial on March 10. He was released on bail until that occasion.

This Injustice is not Unique to The UK We Need To Stand With SIMON, CLIFFORD and ALL Parents faced with Family Court Injustice

Fathers' for Justice campaigner climbs the Tyne Bridge to unfurl a banner on Father's Day

Seven Years since I filed for divorce I was taken prisoner by the local family court by: Family Court Political Prisoner

Seven Years since I filed for divorce I was taken prisoner by the local family court by: Family Court Political Prisoner Canada Family Law Parental Alienation Justice Court

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I see my kids every other weekend but not a full weekend. I get no holidays. No Christmases. No birthdays. Nothing but flitting glimpses of biological children who are now estranged permanently.

Seven years since I filed for divorce. And immediately was taken prisoner by the local “family” court. No hearing.

No property split. No legal divorce even though she’s since remarried. They live in my house. Raising my children without me. I’m a husbandectomy courtesy of VAWA.

The only thing the court has done in seven years is put a temporary restraining order on me since March of 2008 before and without any hearing, then continue it from hearing to hearing thereafter. Then five years long. Renewed last year for another five years — because of my free speech here and for filing bigamy and court fraud with the police.

My job was attacked. I’ve been hunted down in the Sierras at their bidding, for another “talk” about my big mouth.

I used to love this country. Now all I see is that I’m a political prisoner of what I thought loved me too.

Nothing else is as great a crises in America than what is going on in its court system. Nothing. Not race. Not Obama’s scandals. Not even 9-11 compares to the horror of the family court system. Something the internet seems to have unwittingly exposed in a way that the corruption can’t stop. Sharing. Fellowship.

Courts are darkness; from which some day soon you will all suffer. At your happiest moment, you will suddenly wake up outside the matrix, and die screaming in soul searing anguish –for the rest of your life. Access the originating page here:

canlaw

EQUAL SHARED PARENTING : Nobody has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the oppressor

Nobody has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the oppressor

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We don’t need shared parenting, we want Equal Shared Parenting! Many people already have shared parenting, and have it at an unequal level (90% mother, 10% father, 80% mother, 20% father, is considered shared parenting). The fact that a father is even “allowed” in a child’s life is looked upon as some kind of special gift to the father. Screw those bastards!

Canada Family Law Parental Alienation Justice Court

We demand EQUAL SHARED PARENTING and nothing less!!! If it isn’t EQUAL SHARED PARENTING, it isn’t fair and just. We need to demand what is our and our children’s rights! Nobody is going to give it to us, especially those uber greedy, ignorant, petty tyrants of the court system.

“Nobody in the world, Nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them.”
—Assata Shakur

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” 
Martin Luther King Jr.

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