4 years ago I met my partner wounded and broken by his ex-girlfriend who he had a young baby with at the time. She falsely accused him of assault and got a restraining order against him. She abused all of her ex-boyfriends prior, mentally and physically and her own mother. Her 70+ mother was scared of her violent outbursts and psychotic episodes.
She is narcissistic and used their daughter as a pawn to get what she wanted. Besides forcing my partner to pay high child support when she didn’t need it, she runs multiple businesses illegally evading tax, racketeering, and manipulating every system and person to benefit herself. Taking other people’s money through “go fund me” and going on lavish vacations, and expensive purchases such as a new truck, a tiny home, endless home renovations and expensive life style choices. She harassed my partner and I endlessly with false accusations, bullshit lawsuits, and tens of thousands of incessant text messages and emails for four years. He tried to rise above her mental insanity for his child. He struggled for 4 years.
He stood up and stood down trying to protect his daughter. He spent every last penny he had fighting in court because mediation and old school “sit down and talk it out” was out of the question. Even though she was mentally insane, and abusive he was never given the rights he deserved. She harassed, stalked, abused, manipulated, attacked, lied and played cruel games to both him and I for almost 4 years.
Who knows what she was doing to their daughter. The daycare said the daughter was misbehaving when in her mother’s care and they could no longer take care of her because other children wanted her spot if they couldn’t commit to any set days there. The mother did drugs and drank alcohol while breastfeeding and would admit these things to my partner knowing he would worry of his child’s well being. She would drop the daughter off to us neglected, dirty, in dirty diapers and with clothes that didn’t fit and weren’t appropriate for the weather that day. Her daughter also reverted to bed wetting, stress induced episodes, sleep deprivation and anxiety after being in her mother’s care. My partner struggled to protect his daughter. He fought for custody in court and was granted 10 days a month visitation which his ex girlfriend didn’t honour.
She would play games and make EVERY single child exchange extremely difficult. Which would cause undue stress on the child. When she would chose what 10 days a month best worked for her, he would have to drive 8 hours to get his daughter through icy mountain passes on his own dime. Switching his days off at work every 5 minutes to suit her needs. The 2-4 travel days counted as part of the 10 days he had with his daughter. She moved to 4 different towns in 1.5 years just to make things difficult and try and make him fail at being a father. On July 1, 2017 he killed himself. He tried his hardest for 4 years. The ex turned his father, friends, the 4 towns , his own daughter, anyone who would listen against him, all based on nasty lies. Why does a father have to fight so hard for any sort of custody of their own child? Why is this the normal option now for divorced dads or struggling fathers to commit suicide?
This must stop NOW. I stand for every amazing father who just wants to be apart of his child’s life. And against every crazy ex-wife or ex-girlfriend who takes their bitterness and revenge out on their children.
Child alienation should be illegal. After helping raise my step daughter for almost four years, her mother will now never let me see her again. And has served my deceased partner with papers for this. I was a loving step mother who gave my love/time/energy/money/patience to that little girl.
I worked on good behaviour with a chore board that taught responsibility, took her swimming, paid for her dance classes.
The list goes on. I did all these things selflessly because I loved them both. I miss my step daughter and I’ll miss my partner forever.He was a good man and a great father. And he never deserved this ending.
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