Mental illness does — or does not make a person a nice person, worthy of your respect and love. The mentally ill can respect your moral boundaries even in the midst of psychosis if you make them very clear. If the MIS is not willing to respect the WS’s value structure, then the marriage may not survive. We do not tolerate violence, dishonesty, street drug use, sexual unfaithfulness, and criminal behavior. The WS must communicate grave consequences for these behaviors. The WS is deeply committed to the sanctity of marriage, and for the MIS to violate this value is profoundly discordant and intolerable to the WS. Often the WS’s report that “the MIS never gave me a good excuse to leave” is because the WS’s moral boundaries were never violated. That “non-occurrance” was not an accident. Rather, it illustrates commitment by the MIS to the marriage.
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