How to Undo Abuse

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Parental Alienation

Here’s an example: Many abuse survivors I’ve met use warrior/fighter rhetoric to describe their process. That didn’t work for me, because it wasn’t that I wasn’t fighting back, it was that I was doing it in all the worst possible ways, and with very little success. But many abuse survivors are terrified of anger, even their own. They become placatory peace-keepers. They try to make themselves invisible, or anticipate the needs/demands of others so as not to rock the boat. They sacrifice their needs, desires, and feelings for the sake of maintaining a status quo. They’re often terrified of leaving the abuse situation, afraid of retaliation, and/or browbeaten into thinking they can’t, or won’t, survive on their own. This is understandable, and we should NEVER judge anyone for staying in a situation and not fighting back. But in a case like this, a warrior framework could be more fruitful if it helps someone get…

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