It’s understood in our American culture that a real man takes pride in eating bacon, sausage, and beef.
Especially on July 4th. He simply (and ironically) laughs in the face of high cholesterol and onset diabetes.
Why? Because it’s manly to eat meat.
And because… ‘Merica!
How else could a man possibly get enough protein?
However, I am currently taking America by storm, as I am stumping both scientists and sociologists alike…
They are being forced to take notice that I am in deed the manliest vegan on the Internet, yet I am still alive and well.
Miraculously, I am perfectly in the correct height/weight/age range. I not overweight nor underweight. In other words… I’m getting enough protein.
How is it that I am not a walking skeleton? Why does I seem so happy and content in life?
I am currently baffling our nation, as Americans everywhere…
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