An abused individual can attain emancipation and self empowerment with patience, perseverance, and self awareness.
According to Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LPC, an intensive out-patient counselor specializing in emotional incest recovery, the process of recovery is five-fold:
- Identify the family of origin and the particular family dynamics involved
- Recognize any patterns of emotional incest between caregivers and the abused individual
- Learn to set boundaries with that parent. In the case of a deceased caregiver work with a therapist who can help facilitate empty chair work or another experientially based modality for grief and loss
- Acknowledge any feelings of abandonment as a result of the emotional incest
- Work toward individuation and separation by learning to reparent the self (Inner child work)
Kaplan notes that journeying from wounded child to healthy adult does not occur in isolation. In addition to therapy, individuals should enlist the help of spouses in working through unresolved abuse. Kaplan…
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According to Dr. Love, “Being a parent’s primary source of support is a heavy burden for young children as they are forced to suppress their own needs to satisfy the needs of the adults“. Because of this role reversal, they are rarely given adequate protection, guidance, or discipline, and they are exposed to experiences well beyond their years.
Emotional incest from either parent is devastating to the child’s ability to be able to set boundaries and take care of getting their own needs met when they become an adult. This type of abuse, when inflicted by the opposite sex parent, can have a devastating effect on the adult/child’s relationship with his/her own sexuality and gender, and their ability to have successful intimate relationships as an adult.
For practical reasons, elder children are generally chosen for the familial “parental” role – very often the first-born children who were put…
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New Discovery Solves One Mystery of Stonehenge’s Construction ~ Nick Romeo , National Geographic, DECEMBER 07, 2015.
New findings from a team of British archaeologists shed light on how some of Stonehenge’s monoliths were extracted and transported.
In an announcement Monday, the team said it found extensive evidence of Neolithic stone quarrying at two sites in Wales that supplied the distinctive ‘bluestones’ erected at Stonehenge around 5,000 years ago. Forty-three bluestones survive out of an estimated 80 that once stood at Stonehenge; they form an inner horseshoe at the site, surrounded by the outer circle of much larger giant sandstone monoliths. By dating and studying artifacts from the quarries, the archaeologists have determined when and how prehistoric people first extracted these bluestones.
The Welsh quarries are located in the Preseli hills in north Pembrokeshire, roughly 180 miles (290 km) from from Stonehenge by land. The bluestones weigh 1-2 tons and are up to 8 feet tall.
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chronic relationship problems & a curious blend of high and low self esteem
o Other signs: o Problems with peer relationships
o Eating disorders
The Emotionally Invasive Parent – children are powerless against them and have an intense need to be connected with them
Things these types have in common:
1. Parent uses child to satisfy needs that should be met by other adults – romance, companionship, intimacy, advice, problem solving, ego fulfillment. Children can’t handle this and suffer long-lasting effects.
2. Parent is ignoring needs of the child – when the parents turns to the child, the child is rarely given adequate protection, nurturance, guidance, structure, affection, affirmation or discipline.
The child is doing the parenting.
Common family profiles:
1. Parent lacks sufficient companionship and support. May be single, divorced, unhappily married, etc.
2. The parent who is less involved (not…
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Alysa was 32 years old and struggling with commitment when she decided to seek counseling. It was in one of our early sessions that I asked about her family and in particular, about her parent’s marriage.
“My parents had a good marriage—not great, but…you know—good. I know there were times that my dad wasn’t happy, but you don’t stay together if you’re not happy!”
“Really? What makes you so sure?” I asked.
“Look — I saw my parent’s marriage. I know that it wasn’t perfect. What marriage or relationship is? My mother didn’t always appreciate him, but I understood what he was really all about. There were times that he probably wanted to leave. We would talk about it because I’m the one who saw how exasperating his marriage could be. I gave him a perspective on things that no one else did. At times, he was so lonely. But, he…
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