FAQ Friday – What is a Narcissist Thinking When They Discard You?

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

By the time the Narcissist begins to discard you, the gig is pretty much up.  Your only role at this point is a spot in the queue of supply, but only as a last resort option.  Once he or she starts the discard phase, they’ve already found new supply, and you are considered a loose end.  However, because you might still offer some type of benefit to the Narcissist, it’s possible they will discard you and then come back around later in order to exploit you some more.  Just as often they will leave without a word.  It all depends on the individual Narcissist and their motives.  I’ve heard of them coming back around after 2-3 years, weedling their way in to gain some type of financial advantage, and then immediately dumping their supply again.

New Supply ~ New Supply

This is a very painful experience for the person being discarded.  By this…

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#PAS Take divorce out of Court and into A.C.A.S! #Parenting

Parental Alienation is Child Abuse So Outlaw it NOW!

Family Justice Review : My Version!

I Have Corrupt Family Courts In My Sights!In November 2011 David Norgrove  published his ill-feted Family Justice Review after 2 years of consultation. Many of us in the reforming lobby knew it would be dismissed especially when you realise Labour’s Harriet Harman and Ed Balls were the instigators.

Sadly nothing changed or was likely to since then but the suffering goes on, loving parents are being systematically excluded from their children’s lives, a childhood lost and never recovered.

At that time and having endured the nightmare of Family Court since 2004 I put my first hand experience and research into mu own version of how the Family Justice Review should have read and you can read my findings HERE and HERE but in essence I say take the financial incentives out  of the system for greedy Lawyers (Solicitors) and self-serving parents so a limit of legal aid for each parent to make one presentation with the true best interest of the children as paramount including shared parenting access (visitation) for the young and a variation for when they are older and all financial matters settled. This should be binding and if a parent chooses to return matters to court or  arbitration then they have to fund proceedings themselves.

 Acas Logo

ACAS is an arbitration service used by Employers and Trade unions to resolve differences so why not Family matters after all parents are not criminals why is there a need to go to Court?

In 2004 I took matters to Family Court as I knew my former partner would not be conciliatory even though our children said

“they loved their Mum and they loved their Dad so would like to see as much of each as possible even though we would be living apart!”

From March to October 2004 I fought for and achieved;

Joint residency order
Parental responsibility (A given to those on the birth certificate today)
Shared care
Equal contact

This cost me £35,000 and I believed it would serve my children till they were of an age that they could make their own decisions on contact, probably as they reached secondary education, and although the mother sought to disrupt contact it worked OK until 19th Sept 2007 since when the mother has withheld both my children now 14 and 18.

Although a truck driver I offered a second family home equal distance to the schools allowing easy access by our children to both homes and I worked through agencies to enable my work patten to to fit all the prescribed contact times, but the toll was in time I could not sustain in effect 2 homes restrictive work and trying to have a life and in the end went bankrupt to the tune of £75,000.

At that time I learned that my former partner and the new man in her life (who has daily contact with my sons yet has not spent 30 seconds in family court) could acquire my interest in the former family home for a peppercorn rate , they sold it to their benefit of £240,000. At the time they acquired my home I was told I could have my second home repossessed, it was only early access to my private pension as I turned 50 in 2008 that prevented that, but rendered my 30 year old pension worth just £110 per month.

(The CSA do not recognise what I have done through family court from 2004 to 2008)CSA_682_528173a

I am still trying to recover financially, but the CSA have put unreasonable demands on me in spite of my shared care agreement CSA and took half my salary as a dustman ,put a lean on my home which once again could be repossessed , they want a portion of my £110 per month pension, yet the hardest part in all this is that I have not had contact with my 2 sons since 19th September 2007! 

The CSA act on the mother’s say so and take none of my circumstances into account, how can that be fair and reasonable or in the children’s best interest as I tried to achieve? She could win millions on the lottery and I could be on a park bench yet still they would purse me! 

What would you do in my position?

This is about what a Court order is worth!

Peace in our time photo: Peace In Our Time NevilleChamberlain-PeaceinOurTime.jpg

Child murder charge mother remanded!

Gary Clarence leaves Wimbledon Magistrates Court, where his wife Tania appeared charged with murdering three of their children




Her investment banker husband, Gary, 43, also broke down in tears as he locked eyes with his wife from his seat in the public gallery during the brief hearing.

Wearing a black suit and white shirt, Mr Clarence walked into Wimbledon Magistrates’ Court supported by a group of people believed to be family and friends.

He hugged two women in the public gallery before sitting down to watch the proceedings.

Wearing a grey top with a white long-sleeved top underneath, his wife looked fragile as she stood in the glass-fronted dock at the court in south west London, accused of the triple murder.

Her voice shaking with emotion, she spoke only to confirm her name, age and address.

She is accused of three counts of murdering a child aged over one year old between April 20 and April 23 this year.

All three young children were said to have suffered from spinal muscular atrophy.

Also known as floppy baby syndrome, the genetic condition leaves children with little control of their movements and can drastically shorten life expectancy.

Police were called to the family’s five-bedroom home in Thetford Road in the wealthy south west London suburb of New Malden at 9.30pm on Tuesday night where they discovered the bodies.

Mrs Clarence, who also has a healthy eight-year-old daughter, was arrested shortly afterwards.

Mr Clarence, who works at the City bank Investec, is said to have been away in the family’s native South Africa with their eldest daughter at the time of the deaths.

No formal plea was entered and Mrs Clarence was remanded in custody.

Chairwoman of the bench Fiona Abbott said: “For these three charges you will be sent to the Central Criminal Court at the Old Bailey for a preliminary hearing on 9 May.

“There will be a bail application at the Central Criminal Court at 10am on 29 April.”

Two uniformed police officers stood guard outside the courtroom and the public gallery was packed with press during today’s short hearing.

Mrs Clarence is originally from South Africa and moved to Britain with her husband some years ago.

Mr Clarence was escorted out of the court by police officers and driven away in a black taxi.

He did not say anything as he walked down the court steps and through a scrum of photographers.

A female police officer stopped traffic to allow Mr Clarence to be driven off quickly.

The Rt. Hon Iain ‘Delema’-Smith MP #PAS

On the one hand, as Founder and Chairperson of the Centre for Social Justice some startling facts have been revealed as to how Government Policy has an impact on most people’s everyday life!

Rt Hon Iain Duncan Smith MP

On the other hand, as Minister at Department for Work & Pensions

he is directly responsible for many of today’s social ills!

Was grandmother driven to suicide by the ‘bedroom tax’?


CSA_682_528173aCSA keyboard



Greedy Solicitor photo:  letterkennysolicitor1.jpg




Even if he only did one thing at least Jack Straw attempted to open Family Court to Press and public scrutiny, until the judges said




court focus

See No Justice~ Speak No Justice ~ Hear No Justice