Parenting Together....Living Apart

In working to reforming our current system, I meet great people on a daily basis who see unfairness.

I am not alone in this, of course.

Today’s post is from a Division of Child Support case worker in South Dakota and has contacted me several times concerning South Dakota’s unfair custody laws. She asked to post anonymously as she believes she could lose her job if her superiors knew of her stance. So I post this, humbled she would take that risk and grateful for her insights. I believe you will be too.

This is from the front lines of child support and custody in South Dakota and neighboring states. Our anonymous writer today works with custody and child support on a daily basis.


Here is her unedited letter:

“I am a Division of Child Support Caseworker in South Dakota. As such, I speak with other caseworkers in SD and…

View original post 1,367 more words


Suicide is Painless 4 Dads!

Compared to the pain endured when you see your children,home and worth taken away it is a walk in the park!


~ Angela McCauley O’Neill 
information obtained from a friend: 

Approximately 1.2-million men have committed suicide during the past forty-five years or so. Of those, approximately 250,000 are the result of divorce, custody and child support. That’s from the Nat’l Institute for Suicide Prevention, Nat’l Institute for Mental Health, World Health Organization, and many other sources. Maybe even from the Dept of Public Health and Human Services (I think I got some data from them). The number of women committing 4UNsuicide during the past forty-five years is one-quarter that of men in the US and none are the result of divorce, custody or child support. At least not enough to mention or where there is a record. There are many other sources for these data and their numbers actually do agree pretty well. And the age for suicide has changed too. Ninety years ago, age for men was average 65. Today, average 25.Those are the US.

Ninety years ago, average age for suicide was 65. Today, average is 25 with much more variation than it was ninety years ago. But still it’s a dramatic change in age!




   WORLD    Davey1



DaveyoneFamilylawman @DaveyoneF Twitter

I will never forget the events of 11th September 2001 even though I was in London having completed a night-shift and awoke around lunch time in England (9 am New York). What I though was a trailer for the latest Bruce Willis action movie set against clear blue skies was in fact a horror of our worst nightmares, the enduring memory for me was to see those poor souls leaping to certain death from the top floors of the World Trade Towers rather then
face live incineration from the immense heat way up there. I also recall the heroic action of the Emergency Services who faced something for the first time, yet still showed unstoppable bravery and conviction in trying to make it right and save as many lives as possible.32342_304020919703016_1332855448_n
My thoughts now turn to the Middle East, a region of the World in continuous conflict it seems. I recall seeing Andrew Gardner on the News in the 60’s talking about the Lebanon and as a child I wondered why people who lived somewhere there always seemed sunshine had to fight and almost 70 years on why peoples with more in common then against continue to wrangle over the same piece of land? For the sake of the future generations share Palestine/Israel fairly and honour each other’s religious heritage! The King of Jordan professed that to overthrow Saddam would open a whole new can of worms for Iraq and has been proven right, whilst who knows the answer for Afghanistan and will this conundrum ever be solved?
For those of us in the supposedly civilized West we seem to have a more subtle approach to self 
destruction which in a word can be summed up as GREED! 
On the one hand we seem to be trying to price even the most basic essentials out of the reach of the more vulnerable in society whilst bombarding our young with expensive must have gadgetry, clothing and the blandest Pop music in history.Then to sooth our souls and prove we do care are subjected to
endless adverts for the poor in Africa and images of starving children who’s entire life would cost less then a ‘Kindle Tablet’ and if that doesn’t work we are told we are one of three likely to contract Cancer and any spare cash should go to prevent this or at least make provision by taking out a rip-off over 50’s
plan and use a pay-day loan to pay for that at a 1000% a minuet!!

OBASrotating earth photo:  fol_rotating_earth.gif

SA flag
For me however the biggest culprits in all this is the very Law-makers and Politicians around the world who perpetuate the corrupt Family Court and so called Child Welfare Service industry! Our societies are being perpetually undermined by those who make divorce and separation so adversarial rather then seek consensus at this most sensitive of time, seek to prolong cases in order to drain the legal aid system for Mum whilst bankrupting Dad . Meanwhile a hitherto calm family is sent into turmoil often resulting in children being alienated from one or other parent at best  or ending up in irreversible social care at worse! Many of these children go on to become involved in crime drugs violence and worse and with out logical role models in their vulnerable lies and led into anti-social activities then the very people
who cause this wonder why?
When the London Riots took place 2 years ago the authorities sighted the shooting of Mark Duggen as cause, I believe it was our Home Secretary Teresa May announcing cut backs in the Metropolitan Police Force only days before, either way feral undisciplined and often fatherless youth were involved!
Governments and Justice departments seek to ridicule  

Fathers 4 Justice 

and the like but what extreme 
injustice leads to there being so many like minded groups around the world? Only one hundred years ago 
women fought for justice and won thanks to the suffragettes. Now we need the same equality applied to 
parenting and a shared responsibility.
I believe divorce should be taken away from Courts and greedy legal professionals and directed to a mediation service like ACAS. Child Welfare, CPS in the USA, CAS in Canada CYFS in Australia and New Zealand and Social Services in the UK ( CAFCASS should disband) should have a root and branchtoplogo
reform so the true best interest of the child is considered and not after a tragedy such as ‘Baby Peter’ where they claim to learn from their mistake and move on, when all to often they move on the commit the same mistakes again!





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